York was very jolly, the night before it had been pissing down with gale force winds and it was still pissing down in the morning , but when I got to york it stopped because as we know the sun always shines on the righteousand you don't get more righteous than me;).
Got booked into the back packers hostel and found out I was on a top bunk , didn;t worry though because I know a [pissed woman can scale mount everest let alone a bonk bed when the bottom of it is filled with a total stranger from australia, so I threw me bag up there and wandered into town ,on the way i passed a strange looking man on the stairs ,he looked at me oddly and I thought " blimey I hope I don't bump into him again I bet he's a mad axe murderer or possibly he's from kent or somewhere " I carried on and soon forgot him .I Wandered down low petergate and went into the cheap bookshop and bought a copy of an inspector Banaby book incase they were boring bastards and I needed some entertainment.
i wombled down to the pub and had a quick scout round incase anyone had arrived early but they hadn''t so I had a packet of crisps and a j2o ( never let it be said I don't know the meaning of gourmet dining ) and wombled around town a bt more.
Got to the pub at 2 because punctuality is my middle name or it would be if it wasn't elizabeth anyway was trying to get a drink when I was accosted by the man axeman from the hostel. Hello are ytou Alex he said I'm Ade ,I tried to bolt for the door but my way was blockedit was too late.at that point I decided to keep my coat on incase I had to make a quick get away ( keeping my coat on had nothing whatsoever to do with hiding the fact that I am a bloater with a body moby dick would be proud of ...oh no )Shortly after that another tow total strangers came up and said Oh look she's got scary eyes that must be her and thus Debs Carol and Kirstie intoroduced themselves , followed shortly by Nick parks long lost twin brother or phil as he pretends he is called. we got a table and started to drink copious amounts of alcohol in the hope of bonding it was never going to work they were obviously criminally insane at the vey least.They ordered food I didn;t because I like people to believe I hardly eat a thing I was going to have a pastie earlier but the queue was miles long so I just lied and said I'd had one and started drinking gin, you can't beat gin on an empty stomach to make you believe ou are actually the life and soul of the party and not an embarrassingly drunk loud middle aged woman.
Shortly before we sat doqwn or possibly shortly after we were joined by Ellie and ronald who had obviously found shopping for hamster calanders was more satifying than turning up at the pub at the correct time not that I am one to moan oh no not me. I shall continue this tomorrow cos you don't get a lot of sleep in the backpackers hostel on a bed with an australian snoring underneath