My foot stinks because f the way the plaster is I can;rwash past the end of my toes and now my foot smells so bad the dog is trying to roll in it , when he;s not trying to roll in it he's trying to get his tongue up and lick out the yummy toe cheese festering up there , I can;t even put my foot on the floor without attracting him it;s getting to the point where I have t beat him off with a stick
36 comments:
Oh Mum, you do have my sympathies.
I just threw up in my mouth.
then my job here is truly done :-D
"My foot stinks" yeah, riiiiight.
Are you sure the smell's not coming from an area a little higher up?
To: Meme
From: Lynyrd Skynyrd
Whiskey bottles, and brand new cars
Oak tree you're in my way
There's too much coke and too much smoke
Look what's going on inside you
Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you
Angel of darkness is upon you
Stuck a needle in your arm
So take another toke, have a blow for your nose
One more drink fool, will drown you
Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you
Now they call you Prince Charming
Can't speak a word when you're full of 'ludes
Say you'll be all right come tomorrow
But tomorrow might not be here for you
Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you
Hey, you're a fool you
Stick them needles in your arm
I know I been there before
One little problem that confronts you
Got a monkey on your back
Just one more fix, Lord might do the trick
One hell of a price for you to get your kicks
Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you
Ooooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you
its not exactly pete doherty poetic is it
eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww eewwww eeewww and eewwwwwwww
I didnt need to know, i really didnt, please no more smell updates
Actually, can I change that comment, as its virtually guaranteed to get us daily updates til the plaster comes off. I shall start praying for a miraculous healing and rapid removal, not that i wasnt before or anything of course...
my camera is charged may take cheese photos , of for cybersmellyvision
Gross, gross, gross.
You are fucking sexy.
P
What's the difference between Mum's foot and French cheese?
Ded
the cheese on my foot doesn't belong to a surrender money?
Are you sure it's your foot that smells? Praps it's Basil. You only just had the plaster taken off and a new one put on.
no it's my foot its only been in the fresh air for 25 minutes in the last 6 weeks and whenthey slapped the moisturiser on they just gave it a rub over with a j cloth not a proper inbetween the toes going over , i may get one of the kids to go up there with a q tip later
Mum,, if you will allow me to offer a few hygiene suggestions. What parts you can get to, you can use some alcohol to wipe off the detritus. The thing about alchohol is that it will evaporate. Then, if you can get some foot powder and sprinkle in there, it should help lower the exhaust fumes,, won't cure them,, but should help a bit. I would not be surprise if you didn't have a lovely fungal colony in there. It is really too bad when they have the plaster off that they don't do a thorough footcleaning (maybe feet-washing Baptists are hard to find in England). When it comes off,, you are gonna have really scaly flaky skin,, maybe to the point of rawness. Good luck.
hey alex , theres a terrific herriot story about when herriot is watching over a fellow vets practice and a young well to do couple bring their collie into him with a shattered rear leg from getting hit by a car . Its a young dog and they beg that he not remove the leg so he takes a page out of wound care from the spanish civil war and puts the leg in plaster hoping it will heal . The couple come back to have him checked and the leg smells to high heaven but herriot takes a look and low and behold there is new tissue forming and in the end the dogs leg heals and heres the cool part . THe term "stewing in your own juices" comes from the spanish civil war when wounds on humans were also often treated the same way and lo and behold many of them also healed . Just a side story to entertain you in your misery Alex and now I must get back to the site and all the drama you are missing , allan
Oh i remeber that one allan only I think it was a golden retriever while he was running that vets practice as a locum while the real vet went of on his frst holiday .I am watching al the all creatures great and small at the moment they are being repeated. I seem to recall while he was sorting the dog out the operating table kept collapsing too
you re right Alex it was a golden and the practice he was watching was in a crappy area and you are also right about the exam table collapsing . great story . Another of my favorites was the dog that was found tied in a shed ( also a golden i think) terribly mistreated and that nosey old lady whose dog had been killed ( jesus was that part ever sad) saw it and adopted it and brought it back to health . Look Alex , i aint going to talk about those stories anymore . I have tears in my eyes from thinking about just those 2 . I read every herriot book ever put out and they were some of the greatest stories I have ever read in my life . allan
I read the biography of James Herriot (Alf Wight) by his son, and wished I hadn't. It spoiled the stories for me.
thats the one herriot book I have never read Clank . My 2 favorite books were dog stories and cat stories . The one about about the christmas cat is a heart breaker . I think it was named Debbie or something . Unlike Alex I am also a cat lover . I guess I've had about the same number of both in my life . allan
22 comments so far! Stinky feet DO seem to attract a lot of attention .... and not only among dogs.
I am a cat lover myself, althogh I don't have any. I liked the Herriot stories(s) about Boris the cat. Now THAT is my sort of moggy.
any more cat talk and you are on banned and ignore
I have a very special book signed by the author ,, thanks again, Mum.
My cousin recently broke her ankle. Today she asked me to sniff her cast and tell her if it stinks. Fuck yeah it did. She's a bit of a clean freak and it's really pissing her off.
In other news, twice today in conversation I managed to bring up this woman I know who can lick her own titties, even while suffering from the flu.
-P
every time I close my eyes now I see that woman and her beaconlike red nose and I want to be sick
ps I did what sheila suggested and now it doesn;t smell at all and basil has stopped trying to roll in it
Why is it that the comment about throwing up in their mouth... themselves, not me... reminded me of the regurgitated olive comment?
because you have a mind like a sewer perchance?
oh must we start the whole olive thing again???
I read Alex's blog.... of course i have a mind like a sewer ffs
Olives are the work of the devil, they taste like regurgitated cum
I try and like olives, because it's a trendy thing to do. And you know how avante garde I am.
But quite frankly, I would rather lick Alexs' ankle.
I believe theres a queue to lick Alex'x ankle, get in line clank. It starts at Cleethorpes.
Okay, that made me gag, literally . . .
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