Friday was a bit of a crap day I went to the hairdressers to get my hair cut but it would seem I made an appointment but not at my hairdressers god knows whereI did book it . Came home and there was a letter from the estate agents saying that someone had told the landlord that our front was looking overgrown and shabby.I wouldn't mind but when I moved in it was a patch of very weedy grass and I mowed it as soon as I got a lawn mower. So Saturday morning at 8 am I was out there with the lawn mower a pair of scissors and a cheese knife tidying it up. I cut the grass and used the knife to slice the grass where it has grown over the paving slabs of the path , obviously all this has occurred in the 8 weeks I have been living here and prior to that it was like a country house lawn just waiting for the croquet hoops.
Anyway I had three trips to Lidls yesterday to get provisions for my guests . I shop a lot at Lidls but I rarely mention it.Then I settled down to await them with great excitement, well I say excitement I mean I looked out the window once or twice , well I say I looked out the window I mean if the dog stared I glanced up ok I'm lying I didn't look at all.Eventually after several hours Mandy and marjory arrived marj was covered in oil they claimed to have had a flat tyre but those handprints on Amanda's boobish area told another story , but I was my normal discreet self and didn't mention it at all since they bought me a lovely bouquet of flowers and had even remembered to peel the petrol station price lable off ..
Ellie Ron and carol and the lovely reece were late , I suspect that this was because the big fat bastard geordie love god had been practicing tantric sex and it had prevented his Arrival on time but I am not one to spread rumours
They too came baring gifts of flowers and chocolate so I forgave them and allowed them to sit on my £26 suite while I stood and kept guard so they couldn't run off with the silver.
I had basil booked into the groomers for saturday but unfortunately she had a power cut so he was mooching around and he'd like to thank reece very much for sharing his pringles and his choclate with him.My kids have been teaching basil tricks and one of them is to jump from the sofa onto the sideboard and look pitifully in at the kitchen window I had shut him in the conservatory because its a small house and he's a big lad to have mooching specially when half the room is taken up by ronald, but eventually he wormed his way in and was far better behaved than I expected usually he is a little offish with strangers and lets face it guests don't come a lot stranger.
Anyway eventually they left it seemed to take ages even though I had been looking at my watch every five minutes from their arrival and I watched doctor who then went to bed. We talked about you all and none of it was good btw

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