ha hah I just told Tom to have a bath and he said "no I can't run it myself " and went all sulky. so I said "what would you do if I died and you didn't have anyone to run a bath" for you and he said , "I wouldn't have one I'd just stink"
Its been warm here this weekend , I don't do warm. For a laugh I joined a dating website just to find someone to go out and see films and that kind of thing not for full on rampant sex on the dining room table wearing nazi uniform and saying " you vill tell me vere anne frank is or I shall have my wicked way with you "because that would be wrong . Anyway this bloke messaged me today and his profile made me laugh like a hyena for about three hours and because I am a top notch bitch I shall share it with you
In my own words...
non-pushy decent guy looking for a woman who will let me m4sturbate in front of her. in person preferably. i know its sad but it really turns me on. willing to do anything in return but no pressure for anything else i promise. will Even fix ur computer or something like that if u let me do it ;) would like to hear from any guys who would like to m44sturbate with me too
sadly he wont dress as a nazi so I fear we are not a match made in heaven, but its lovely to be asked as I always say
21 comments:
Am i the only one who has bothered to translate this? or just the only one who is bothering to comment ;-)
My 13 yr old reckons he cant run his own bath alex, but then hes just a lazy little shite.
And awwww @ the non nazi uniform wearing bloke ;-)
Oy I t didn't need decyphering it was punctuated and everything
You shouldn't discount him - he might be a dentist!!!
Durn, just when you need your Captain Midnight decoder ring, you've misplaced it!
I don't get this at all. What am i missing?
I’d go for this if I were you; not everyone can fix ur computer!
ha hah I just told Tom to have a bath and he said "no I can't run it myself " and went all sulky. so I said "what would you do if I died and you didn't have anyone to run a bath" for you and he said , "I wouldn't have one I'd just stink"
Its been warm here this weekend , I don't do warm. For a laugh I joined a dating website just to find someone to go out and see films and that kind of thing not for full on rampant sex on the dining room table wearing nazi uniform and saying " you vill tell me vere anne frank is or I shall have my wicked way with you "because that would be wrong . Anyway this bloke messaged me today and his profile made me laugh like a hyena for about three hours and because I am a top notch bitch I shall share it with you
In my own words...
non-pushy decent guy looking for a woman who will let me m4sturbate in front of her. in person preferably. i know its sad but it really turns me on. willing to do anything in return but no pressure for anything else i promise. will Even fix ur computer or something like that if u let me do it ;) would like to hear from any guys who would like to m44sturbate with me too
sadly he wont dress as a nazi so I fear we are not a match made in heaven, but its lovely to be asked as I always say
(i found my decoder ring)
Even if you did decode it . . . knowing Meme, everything's probably misspelled
--emma
I worry if there isn't a typo. And there isn't a typo.
Is everything ok?
Just to clarify, when i tried to read this post last night it was all pretty pictures, webdings or some such font. I had to copy and paste and change font to read it. Its all back to normal now (well as normal as possible for alex)
:-)
why did Alex change from the Wwbdings font? I liked it, especially the way it maintained her idiosyncratic grammar and punctuation.
I didn;t change anything I have no idea why some people were seeing it webdings it was written in trebuchet
you know, he sounds like marriage material according to schell. he won't want sex or a bj, but he'll go to the movies with you and will stfu if need be. plus he can fix your computer. it's a shame that he's probably 19 or has no job and lives in his momma's basement.
jilly
God i don;t want to get married again I just want soem decent sex
dont we all alex ::sigh:: actually even non decent would do about now
if i could will you something, it'd be my share of decent sex for the next 5 months, i just want to sit on my ass with my feet in cold water and pretend that a baby is going to have to come out in about 3 months.
jilly
I'm bored with this post now alex, can we have a new one?
Does he arrive with his own Rug Doctor carpet cleaner?
think yourself lucky. i'm having far too much sex than is good for me at the moment. i really must do something to piss him off as i can't take much more of it.
Tut. I cudda done with him when my puter went on the blink!
A friend of mine who signed onto a computer dating service once was approached by a guy who was looking for a woman who was lactating. He wanted to be with someone off whom he could breastfeed for the rest of his life.
Ick!
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