I awoke today to some very sad news , a good internet friend of mine had died yesterday afternoon .Jan or swanny as I used to her ( owing to her weird idea that swans are actually beautiful birds and not the arm breaking killing machines that we know them to be ) was truly inspirational , in a world of self pity and deep depression over minor set backs Jan was like a beacon of hope shining out. Despite bowel cancer and numerous nasty operations and set backs she remained positive I never saw her whine about pain or do anything other than look forwards with a positivity that I wish I could emulate in my every day life. She and her husband John were always looking forward to what they would be able to do ,never at what they could not longer do and when I was in the pathetic slough of dispondancy brought on by my financial and marital worries,one day I just thought of Jan and realised that life is to be lived every last second of it and if you want to do something do it because not doing it is infinitely worse . My life has been enhanced by knowing Jan and I hope that in times of hardship I will think of her and know that I am capable of doing whatever it is needs doing . I shall miss you Jan you were fab